Never Blog Drunk

Ostensibly, one really couldn't blog totally drunk, because you would be passed out somewhere. Part way to drunk, I use words like ostensibly. I'm enjoying an unusual Tuesday off work, due to the weekends that I have to work for the joy of retail. One day off isn't enough and I have become jealous for those in European countries where long days and longer weeks are illegal. My "day off" included doing laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, running errands, catching up Christmas cards and looking for stuff to put in Taz's shadow box. Oh, I forgot to tell you that one of my cats, who we had with us for 15 years, died on Sunday night. Oh yeah, last night while I was getting part way to drunk on the other half of tonight's bottle of wine, I printed about 250 pictures to the local drug store to give myself yet more to do today. The eventual result... pictures are on the table, shadow box still wrapped, can't find Taz's tags, and determined that getting up at 6am on your day off sucks! Why am I blogging under the influence, because I missed you guys. Watching my Siberian puppy play soccer with a tennis ball, doesn't compare with an impromptu poll on the impact of work on holiday cheer. How are you overcoming the demands of your job to find holiday cheer? Please understand, the first vote (mine) is for wine by the bottle. Merry Christmas!

Employee Impersonator

Ghost Writer takes up where Marti left off Pleasing Yourself and Tolerance.

 

Comedienne Joan Rivers is credited with saying, "Being a woman is like being a female impersonator."  I agree.  Every woman who vaguely complies with what's considered normal here in the Western World wakes up everyday, showers, dresses, does her hair and make-up to look like a woman -- not the person she is.  Ok, but that's not what this blog is about, but it's close.

Every day each person who shows up at the front door of a company impersonates an employee.  Some do better impersonations than others -- that person is called 'High Performer'.  Some are less good at the disguise.  People in that category are eventually called 'Low Hanging Fruit' or 'Dead Wood' or 'Under Performers' or any of the other hundred euphemisms for 'Redundant Headcount'.  Then there are others who don't seem to impersonate at all.  People in this group fall into three categories.  The person who seems not to be impersonating and delivers results is called 'Natural Talent'.  If the person delivers results but the company wishes impersonation was part of the repertoire is labeled 'Talented with Issues'.  If the person doesn't deliver and leaves the company wishing for impersonation, well, that goes back to the fruit and wood scenario.

Having been labeled 'Talented with Issues', I've seen what companies do to improve impersonation skills.  'Leadership Training' and 'Personal Coaching' are the best of what I call 'Freak Tweaking'.  I'm a freak.  I'm not like everyone else, but I need to learn to impersonate better, so off for a tweak (or two or ten) I went.  At the end of a long career, ultimately, I was just too big of freak for them.  So really?  Is there a point in sending 'Talented with Issues' out for rehab?  I guess that's a blog for another day.

What drives me crazy is that I work my buns off everyday to do the right thing -- for the business, the customers, and the people who serve them.  So sometimes, I'm 'High Performer', but when I'm in a hurry and just want to cut to the chase and get something done, I become "Talented with Issues".  And then I torture myself, because I know I can be better than that.  I was just trying to call it done, or some cases, call it like it is instead of tapdancing around it.

Sadly, what the business remembers out of 365 days of performance is the one time (or half a dozen times) my impersonator mask fell out of place.  And this becomes my development opportunity, or as a colleague trying to put together peer development for me said, "You're my project for the next year.  I want everyone to see you as I see you."  Is this my next round of tweaking?  And doesn't the tweaker have flaws of his own? 

So as I close this post with a quote from Debbie Wunsch.  "One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that's trying to make you like everyone else."  So do I accept the challenge?  Or just reinvest in my good employee impersonation kit?