Survival

Seth Godin has a book "Only the Paranoid Survive". One of many in his arsenal of experience and advice. I lack the focus of a paranoid, so I needed a different definition of survival. As I was embarking on the typical 5am journey to get to a location and squeeze one more thing out of my day, the emotional toll of long days kicked into overdrive. It is easy to get personally invested in outcomes and I consider parts of my work to be a battlefield. Once I conquer the hill, having to conquer it again because of others really turns a day the wrong direction. Whether a candidate flakes out and doesn't show for their first day or scheduling puts a process back a week, the goal does not shift. It simply is not met on time. As I enjoyed one of the lovely Interstates I could easily call home, it is evident that I am very near obsessive in goal orientation. At this time, my goal is to survive. However, my definition of survival is lofty. It is not enough to get it done. It must be on time or early and before everyone else whenever possible. That is survival. Getting things done before everyone else and early every time is success. This is the battle for the basics. Getting things done only makes way for more things that may be more strategic and helpful to the growth of the team. This still does not improve the sleeping and head clearning time.
Unfortunately for my husband, the same standards don't apply at home. Survival is simpler here. Don't piss off the spouse, don't think too much, and help with the housework. Right now, we both suffer from sleep deprivation due to the introduction of a Siberian puppy into our routine. He screams like an angry seagull when he wants to go out at 5am on any given day. He barks at the cats, chews on the Labrador and generally makes a "hot mess" out of the house. If you don't trap him in a section of the house, he leaves a hot mess as a gift. This too shall pass. I'm not entirely certain the phrenetic pace at work will, though. It is amazing that enough parents instilled some strong sense of loyalty, personal responsibility, sense of pride, or requirement to save face that people continue to push through this crazy work world we imposed on ourselves. Yes, I could do less. Yes, I could change my expectations. However, my goals is survival and my definition of survival is lofty. This is not changing any time soon, so you will have to get used to it.