Sunday, November 27, 2011

Real Tolerance - irreverent and unapologetic cont'd

Welcome to the holiday season. Pick your holiday, in a given year it could include ramadan, hanukah, christmas,and other holiday activities accompanied by various forms of self-imposed deprivation or alcohol and gluttony. My holiday is Christmas. I was raised in the basic christian tradition, no denominations, no priests, just people meeting to study and share faith. We were raised to understand other belief systems, so we can be clear why we believe what we do. However, when I say "Merry Christmas" to someone that is not a christian, I get corrected or called insensitive. I don't berate them for saying Happy Hanukah or giving me a traditional greeting of any other faith. When did religious tolerance become enforced neutrality? Accepting differences means letting them exist instead of covering them up and making everything look the same. I guess we must have quit reading literature in school, so the lessons of 1984 are becoming predictive of expected behavior in a "polite society". Orwell put his spin on what he saw as the bland, whitewashing of human ability and individuality by prevailing societal norms. The erosion of our unique beings into lock step automatons signals the final stagnation of innovation and growth in the human condition. Seems dramatic for a rant on being able to say Merry Christmas, right. Well, while you are going through all of the phrases, jokes, expressions and writings that polite society have kindly eradicated on the behalf of those that are different, here's my take. Do not compromise on what you believe, but respect what others believe. The first time we underestimate the importance of a greeting or celebration to someone's belief system, we will regret the result. Whether we degrade our differences or become complacent to the machinations of others, we will regret the efforts to make everyone the same. Welcome to my Christmas Season, please blog back your thoughts on your season, whatever it may be.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Pleasing Yourself

Forgive me Dad for not remembering this clearly. I believe Jim Croce sang, "I've learned my lesson well. You can't please everyone, you've got to, got to please yourself." In my life, I clearly remember being compared to others all of the time. Sadly, this form of motivation actually worked in the contrived reality of our lives. It lead to a lot of negative motivators like guilt and inadequacy that translate to anger/fight responses. We love fighters. Those hard workers that battle adversity and find a way to make it work. The fighters always win in the movies, but we aren't Rocky. We want to be the best us as defined by the current group we consent to be measured against. The book The Four Agreements has resonated with me for years. It speaks about our integrity and how things that make us feel bad are contrary to our integrity. I believe that we can adapt to any environment, when we are true to that integrity. The tough part is overcoming 40 years of training in the ugly business of being something we aren't and living with the backlash or our emotional responses. These foreign reactions prescribed by others lead to violations of our internal integrity, which result on counterproductive emotional responses. If anyone thinks this is a tricky way to talk about people I don't like or whine about my work problems, read the past posts. I don't write about individuals at work in my blog; I write about politicians and public figures sometimes. Now, back to the topic, internal integrity. What one says or does is about that person as an individual. Our thoughts and feelings are about us. I blog because my thoughts or feelings may resonate with others. If my advice helps by emboldening or calming another, then this blog has been therapeutic for more than just me. It is tremendously difficult to absorbe the concept that other people's behavior is about them and not you. When a customer tells you aren't worth anything because you are the wrong skin color and your job is to walk away, it takes a lot not to be hurt. Other's perspectives, experience, moods, ego and other personal motivators govern their action and reflect in their responses and assessments of you. If you choose to fully buy into their perspective, please remember caveat emptor, "let the buyer beware"!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Generation Z

My husband and I were talking about a TV show. I made a comment on Generation Y. The Mom on the show was getting ready for a date and her daughter wanted his name to look him up. This is typical Y connectivity. He said, "It is better than Generation Z, they sleep through life and blame us for why it's so lame." In typical HR fashion, I told him that they are called Millenials. Funny thing is that I didn't argue with the description. What are your thoughts on the zzzzzzzz's?
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People Platform HR by Marti Nelson is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.