No Laughing Matter

This just arrived in the Ghost Writer's Inbox.

"GW, I just got the weirdest feedback at work.  A peer told me 'every' leader in the business talks about how great I am at my job in every area and the only negative thing they have to say about me is my laugh - how it's too loud and sometimes ill-timed.  Further, he intimated it's hurting my career.  Then he continued on to tell me how my new boss questions whether I should be on the team and how he stood up for me.  What do I do with this?  You know if I quit laughing at work, I'll get the feedback that I'm humorless and unhappy next year. Laughless in Las Plantos"

Wow, Laughless!  That's tough feedback.  Tough for the person who gave it to you, and tough for you to hear, I'm sure.  For once in my life, I'm speechless (and laughless).  I have no idea how to counsel you.  I agree with your assessment that stopping laughing altogether is an overcorrection and will lead to its own consequences.  However, this feedback clearly needs some type of action on your part. 

 

The outraged part of me says, "Go to HR and file a claim that there are people adverse to diversity in the workplace.  This is clearly an attack on you as a person that has nothing to do with real job performance."  Sadly, though, that has its own consequences, especially if you are a minority in your workplace as your charge will be investigated.  While legally they can't fire you for the claim, this could make your already uncomfortable (based on this feedback) workplace even more so, as well as make people overtly sensitive about what they say in front of you which can hurt informal networking critical for workplace success.

 

The saddened part of me, because I do love a good laugh, says, "Tone it down a notch.  Raise your self-awareness about this.  Take it as a study in workplace humor."  That sounds pathetic, but at least it makes it your choice rather than being a victim in this scenario.  However, many would tell you a laugh is an autonomic response of the body.  Controlling it is like attempting to control a sneeze.  You can do it, but it may be painful, artificial, and inconsistent.

 

The seriously outraged part of me says, "QUIT!  Screw them.  If you're so damn good at your job, as the peer asserted, they'll miss you when you're gone, and the exit interview data could lead to an interesting set of changes for the company."  We all know, though, that the grass is rarely greener on the other side.  The next company will find something to pick at about you.  That's the nature of human-filled workplaces.  If you like what you do and, in general, where you do it, then take this as the sign it's work and not play for you.

 

This was a tough piece of mail from the Inbox.  If any of the HR pros out there in blog-land have something, I'm sure Laughless would love to hear it.