This Village has too many Idiots

My husband and I were sitting in the car tonight at 9pm, after I stopped at work to get some more things done with him as my entertainment. I left a small arsenal of paper airplanes and a cootie catcher on the RVP's desk as an hommage to the packets we use to get manager candidates approved for hire. Michael Savage was on the radio and he was talking about congress and the antics of Mr. Weiner that were recently in the news. I started to reflect on what our government is supposedly doing for us. They are teaching us that the way to take care of business is to increase our debt. Recent history in the housing market is q clear indicator to the contrary, how soon we forget. They are teaching us that we should try lying, if we get caught being naughty, in case we can get away with it. They are teaching us to blame those that went before us for bad things, so we can get them to do the bad things we want. I began to wonder what happens when the village has too many idiots and now I know. They become normal and we become complacent.

Carrots aren't Tasty Unless They are Gold

It is sometimes hard to understand why we have field managers, then impose the personal opinions of the executives(based on experience of course) on the people that are on the ground and know the teams. Challenging sites with specific needs suffer due to the inflexible mindsets of upper management. I get it. They had tough experiences that shaped their mental framework. They have bosses to please, too. However, it seems there is a general fear of allowing others' judgement to prevail and make a decision that is within budget and sound for a location. Even though a newer team is not the creator of the bad results previously, there is no opportunity to get it corrected. There is not a manager reading this blog that would not want experienced internals for their location. Those managers would understand that it is tough to get anyone, especially internals into a challenging site. When you are short of internal talent, because of time and limited support in getting rid of poor talent, it may take even more to get folks that live farther away to go to that tricky job. In today's world, they want to go, but they also want some scratch to take it. The job they have is already good enough for now, so what is the incentive to go elsewhere. They are willing to wait for a better opportunity later. Guess what executives, people are balancing their careers and ambitions these days. Quit expecting the field managers to find rabid workaholics that will take a pay cut, drive an extra hour every day and smile about it to get promoted. They are looking for some loyalty and investment from their employers to go with their loyalty and investment. They already get a regular diet of garden variety carrots. It is silly to expect that they will do special tricks unless they get a special carrot.

The Friday(?) Rant - Carbon Footprint

As a carbon based life form, I truly resent someone telling me to reduce my carbon footprint. It is difficult enough to manage one's weight without pressure to make our feet smaller, too. In all honesty, coming up with a new way to say, "Give a hoot, don't pollute", is not what I find so annoying. It is the metrics driven psychos that have to measure my footprint, which any lady will tell you is rude. We just don't discuss shoe size, except with our closest friends, for the purpose of sharing beautiful shoes. I use the compact flourescents, because I am cheap and prefer to save more money. When it comes to being earth friendly, a lot of it is common sense. Grow a garden, because it is fun and provides tasty food. In the meantime, the tree huggers will appreciate that gasoline was not used to bring you veggies. Recycle stuff, because you liked the Owl and you give a hoot. The environmentalists will applaud your interest in the future. Truthfully, I do that stuff, but I am not giving up air conditioning or installing solar panels to change what I emit. The world should be more worried about what I emit after eating at a Mexican restaurant. My work involves driving for a living, so you can pound sand, if you think I'll give up fossil fuels. Even God knows we are finite in this world and will return from whence we came. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, so I'll take your carbon footprint and raise you one entire carbon based lifeform. I am planning on holding onto it for about 30 more years, but it is all yours to recycle after that!

Reward Accounting 101

Guess what? We are not paid for efforts. The return on well spent efforts is desired results. We can get results from efforts that aren't desirable and aren't a return on our investment. When we get the proper results return on our efforts investment, then there is a reward. In business there is no ribbon for showing up and "trying" to do something. The reward comes from delivering the result, because without the desired result there are no funds for a reward. Businesses are not our Federal Government, they cannot continue to exist and propagate by giving away money they do not have. The employee populace, as seen in many messy contract battles and lawsuits, will not continue to give things up to fund bad results. They aren't forced to pay that penalty and will rebel. The final result is that the employer closes and the jobs are gone. If you haven't figured this out yet, here you go. Quit expecting your boss to pay you more or give you anything unless you deliver a result that enhances the business. Effort does not always equal result, and for the sake of this formula, effort therefore does not always equal reward.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

The Bi-Polar Excusorizer

Ghost Writer means no offense to those with a real mental illness and takes aim at the Excusorizor swinging from both sides of the plate.

So now that Marti has taught us all about Excusorizing, I'm seeing it everywhere. Mostly the random excusories of "we've always done it that way" or "the night crews can't be expected to". However today, I met an all-new brand of Excusorizor -- the Bipolar Excusorizor.

Excusorizor: one who uses excusories, usually to extreme.

Bipolar Excusorizor: an Excusorizor who uses both flattering and belittling or demeaning excusories in the same conversation

A typical conversation with a Bipolar Excusorizor (BPE) sounds like this. The BPE hold a conference call that starts out like this. "Hi! I know you are SO much better at this than I am, so thought you should do this. I just think this is you area, and I can't come close to doing it as good as you can."

I say, "But this isn't my job. It's your job, and I have plenty to do without doing your job, so thanks for the flattery. But you aren't talking me into it."

Conference call ends.

BPE calls back and privately says, "I would figure someone at your level of the organization would take the lead on this. You aren't meeting our expectations here. I had people call me unsolicited after the conference call to say how badly you behaved. How dare you ask me who was going to pay for this trial in front of a supplier?"

Sigh... So I reiterate this isn't my job. The call ends with the BPE thinking I'm the reason all is wrong, and I feel like an ass, because I thought he might not BPE me. (This one is a serial BPE -- does it often to certain people, especially fools like me who long to help.)

So check your world out for new forms of Excusorizors. They're hiding everywhere."

When Your Excuseories Clash

An employee was caught sleeping on the job, not showing up on time and was given documentation. During the meeting, it was the bosses fault, HR's fault, and most importantly, the person is just going through the motions. In the absence of personal responsibility, try to keep your excuseories simple. Pick a target for those pointed fingers and build a good case. It doesn't help to spin in circles pointing at everything. It is like spraying the field with bullets, you'll hit something,but there is no guarantee it is edible and not a friend of yours. If you want to prevent clashing excuseories, be responsible today for the choices you make and take responsiblity tomorrow for any choices that don't work.

Puppy Friday

Yay!  Marti's playing with her new puppy so I, your loyal Ghost Writer, gets to take over the Friday rant.
 
What should I rant about?  Oh yes!  SLOW people.  Really?  You want to lose that customer?  Move slower!  You want to keep entering that data by hand rather than following up on that IT work order?  Move slower!  And hey!  While you're busy moving slower, fail to follow-up on those commitments your peers made to you to make things better.  That ALWAYS helps.
 
This isn't about geography.  It's about culture.  In an increasingly fast-paced world, moving slower doesn't help. It lands people in the category of, "You're not part of the solution, so you're part of the problem."

So what's an HR Leader to do with this ilk? This week, I offerred to stop a project, since at the pace the person was moving, it clearly wasn't a priority. I also offerred to have their boss find them some help - pretty embarrassing since the guy has scores of minions.
So I end the week without the slowest cats in the herd back on the lead lap (to utterly mix a metaphor).
Have a great weekend, and I really believe the only reason to go slow is due to a new puppy.