The Ghost Writer channels her inner-Marti while Marti switches channels on the radio running around to see all of her big boxes.
So as I sit wrapped in a shawl Marti made for me a number of years ago, I find myself thinking a lot like her -- drawing parallels between the seemingly unconnectable -- and connecting Marriage and Career. All capitals intentional.
Marriage, capital M to differentiate what I'm talking about from those microsecond affairs of the heart characterized by modern society, is a condition where, much like Marti, you meet a young person of similar age, get married and over a lifetime create a Marriage. Marti readily says of her long-suffering spouse, "We raised each other." Having watched this relationship from the outside, and despite how easy it would be to think otherwise, these two are intensely private about their Marriage. It's clear they are a unit, a force to be reckoned with relative to all outside forces. Only years after the fact does a by-stander hear a dropped anecdote about an internal train wreck that could have cost their Marriage its life. They've been through youth together, are kicking around at mid-life, and will someday hold hands while sitting on a bench at the assisted living facility. That's Marriage.
Career, capital C to differentiate my discussion from the modern-day crash-here for 6-24 months as a consultant or out-and-out hire process, is condition where, very unlike most of us anymore, you meet a company at a young age, get a job and work there for 30-50 years creating a Career. Of the fine professionals I know who have built a Career, most say a version of, "We raised each other." These people talk about how "when I was young" this crazy thing would get done or that crazy shift would get worked. Then they move into Career mid-life of managing the work of others, and as I have met this group, the good ones are mentors of young fools like me building a career. The bad ones are putting sticks in the spokes of the company's wheel chair as they toddle into the assisted living facility. That's Career.
Companies and spouses don't raise each other anymore. We pass in the night, get while the getting is good, and move on to the next big thing. As a result, every person has to act like a young person at work -- do crazy things to impress with an ever less impressionable audience. It's like that painted-on-hair mid-50s guy at the bar on Friday night. He's looking young, but the audience isn't buying it anymore. Trying something new, he goes and gets a crazy car and new clothes and moves to a new bar. That impresses folks for a while, he gets married, the shine wears off and it's time to find a new bar again. The woman he married didn't get to see the youthful vigor, appreciate how he's grown, or understand all he's built. She just enjoyed a few years with who he was in the moment.
Much like the modern job cycle.
We shine ourselves up, go out on interviews, feel fortunate when someone buys from the scarily competitive mid-life hang-out bar of job seekers, and we give it our all. Until our all isn't good enough. No one appreciates how we've grown or the perspective time brings to a member of the workforce. It's just "deliver results now or leave".
And at some point in each person's life or career, the person or the spouse gets sick or, worse yet, hits menopause. When there was Marriage and Career, these tough personal times were looked at with a benevolent eye and a "I remember when it was better, and it will be better again. Give him/her a break. He/She has done a great deal to get here." However, there is now marriage and career with a comment, "Get help, get shiny and new again, or get out."
So HR leaders, I leave you with this twisted metaphor as a reminder to admire each person who have built a Career. They helped raise the company to where it is, and while we just got picked up off a bar stool, they will be here long after to carry the process. Embrace Career Professionals. Give them opportunities to mentor and speak their time-experienced piece, even when it sounds like "because we don't do it that way", because maybe, they do know better. After all, they saw sickness or, worse yet, menopause and lived to tell.
So as I sit wrapped in a shawl Marti made for me a number of years ago, I find myself thinking a lot like her -- drawing parallels between the seemingly unconnectable -- and connecting Marriage and Career. All capitals intentional.
Marriage, capital M to differentiate what I'm talking about from those microsecond affairs of the heart characterized by modern society, is a condition where, much like Marti, you meet a young person of similar age, get married and over a lifetime create a Marriage. Marti readily says of her long-suffering spouse, "We raised each other." Having watched this relationship from the outside, and despite how easy it would be to think otherwise, these two are intensely private about their Marriage. It's clear they are a unit, a force to be reckoned with relative to all outside forces. Only years after the fact does a by-stander hear a dropped anecdote about an internal train wreck that could have cost their Marriage its life. They've been through youth together, are kicking around at mid-life, and will someday hold hands while sitting on a bench at the assisted living facility. That's Marriage.
Career, capital C to differentiate my discussion from the modern-day crash-here for 6-24 months as a consultant or out-and-out hire process, is condition where, very unlike most of us anymore, you meet a company at a young age, get a job and work there for 30-50 years creating a Career. Of the fine professionals I know who have built a Career, most say a version of, "We raised each other." These people talk about how "when I was young" this crazy thing would get done or that crazy shift would get worked. Then they move into Career mid-life of managing the work of others, and as I have met this group, the good ones are mentors of young fools like me building a career. The bad ones are putting sticks in the spokes of the company's wheel chair as they toddle into the assisted living facility. That's Career.
Companies and spouses don't raise each other anymore. We pass in the night, get while the getting is good, and move on to the next big thing. As a result, every person has to act like a young person at work -- do crazy things to impress with an ever less impressionable audience. It's like that painted-on-hair mid-50s guy at the bar on Friday night. He's looking young, but the audience isn't buying it anymore. Trying something new, he goes and gets a crazy car and new clothes and moves to a new bar. That impresses folks for a while, he gets married, the shine wears off and it's time to find a new bar again. The woman he married didn't get to see the youthful vigor, appreciate how he's grown, or understand all he's built. She just enjoyed a few years with who he was in the moment.
Much like the modern job cycle.
We shine ourselves up, go out on interviews, feel fortunate when someone buys from the scarily competitive mid-life hang-out bar of job seekers, and we give it our all. Until our all isn't good enough. No one appreciates how we've grown or the perspective time brings to a member of the workforce. It's just "deliver results now or leave".
And at some point in each person's life or career, the person or the spouse gets sick or, worse yet, hits menopause. When there was Marriage and Career, these tough personal times were looked at with a benevolent eye and a "I remember when it was better, and it will be better again. Give him/her a break. He/She has done a great deal to get here." However, there is now marriage and career with a comment, "Get help, get shiny and new again, or get out."
So HR leaders, I leave you with this twisted metaphor as a reminder to admire each person who have built a Career. They helped raise the company to where it is, and while we just got picked up off a bar stool, they will be here long after to carry the process. Embrace Career Professionals. Give them opportunities to mentor and speak their time-experienced piece, even when it sounds like "because we don't do it that way", because maybe, they do know better. After all, they saw sickness or, worse yet, menopause and lived to tell.
Posts
Ghost Writer,
ReplyDeleteI wanted you to know how much I appreciate your use of insight and metaphor, to great effect, when you post in Marti's absence. You have given me food for thought, yet again.
Many thanks for your time and talent.