The Friday(?) Rant - Carbon Footprint

As a carbon based life form, I truly resent someone telling me to reduce my carbon footprint. It is difficult enough to manage one's weight without pressure to make our feet smaller, too. In all honesty, coming up with a new way to say, "Give a hoot, don't pollute", is not what I find so annoying. It is the metrics driven psychos that have to measure my footprint, which any lady will tell you is rude. We just don't discuss shoe size, except with our closest friends, for the purpose of sharing beautiful shoes. I use the compact flourescents, because I am cheap and prefer to save more money. When it comes to being earth friendly, a lot of it is common sense. Grow a garden, because it is fun and provides tasty food. In the meantime, the tree huggers will appreciate that gasoline was not used to bring you veggies. Recycle stuff, because you liked the Owl and you give a hoot. The environmentalists will applaud your interest in the future. Truthfully, I do that stuff, but I am not giving up air conditioning or installing solar panels to change what I emit. The world should be more worried about what I emit after eating at a Mexican restaurant. My work involves driving for a living, so you can pound sand, if you think I'll give up fossil fuels. Even God knows we are finite in this world and will return from whence we came. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, so I'll take your carbon footprint and raise you one entire carbon based lifeform. I am planning on holding onto it for about 30 more years, but it is all yours to recycle after that!