Flexibility and The Love-Fear Hypothesis

Ghost Writer stalks after Marti answering her latest question on flexibility with her own hypothesis of two emotions.

    For those close to this Ghost, I have long hypothesized there are merely two emotions in the human condition -- love and fear.  Every other emotion is just a shade of gray between these two.  Hope, a murky one, is often been the challenge emotion tossed into the conversation when I bring up this hypothesis.  My response, "Hope for?  Hope against?  One is love. One is fear."  So feel free to toss that one out at a cocktail party, and let me know how it comes out in your field tests. 

    In the mean time, how does this apply to Marti's blog on flexibility?

    Inflexibility is a fear emotion.  Usually it's a fear of the consequence of the proposed solution.  I can picture Marti pretty dug in against an idea, and that reaction comes most clearly when she's confronted with an opportunity to be flexible in a way that makes her fear the consequences more than embrace the proposal on the table.  In her line of work, I'm sure these opportunities are often.  As an HR Manager, I doubt she often sees an opportunity to be flexible that doesn't sound in her mind like, "Great, and when am I going to have to hire/fire/remediate the mess this is going to make?"

    The good news is, for Marti and even regular HR Leader folk like me, we generally neither do brain surgery nor rocket science for a living.  We work in regular work environments where the worst that can happen is someone has to be hired, fired, or corrected in some massive way when a flexibility opportunity runs astray.

    So, Marti, awesome friend you are, when you have a moment to be flexible, take these steps.

    1.  Ask yourself, "What's the WORST that can happen?"  If no one could die and you won't be left considering how many bodies would fit in the company car trunk, it might be worth considering.  This acknowledges your fearfulness in the situation and gives you space to understand it.

    2.  Ask yourself, "What's the BEST that can happen?"  See caveat on #1. 

    3.  Ask the proposer, the prior two questions.  Make him/her sell it to you a little and consider the consequences for him or her self.  While you're quite often the smartest person in the room, coaching the person through your thought process might rub off on him/her in a way that imparts some wisdom.

    4.  Depending on his/her answers, you may want to give them this question.  "May I have [some appropriate timeframe] to think about this?"  Really, most decisions outside of the brain surgery/rocket science realm really can wait a few minutes for a thoughtful position made on a decent night's sleep or after one's first cup of coffee, at least.

    Well, and for everyone, this may help you be a better HR Leader, wife, husband, life partner, or parent, because as I found out this weekend, sometimes I'm not the most loveble person when I'm inflexible.  May you all find a space to love others enough to go through a process rather than being so concerned with the consequences and potential fear that you're inflexible.